| Location | Elgin, Scotland |
| Age | 20 years |
| Date of Birth | 10/1982 |
| Date of Death | 12/2002 |
| Visitors | 7,888 since 12/10/2006 |
| Creator |
Colin Hardy died on the 4th December 2002. He was 20 years old.
He still lived at home with me and his father, and has a brother Ross, and sister Tracy. Colin was the youngest child, the baby of the family, although at 6 feet 4 inches tall he was some baby !!!
He was an ordinary lad, not good not bad, with a wonderful sense of humour. He liked nothing better than to tell me implausible stories that at first I would believe, then slowly I would realise that I was being taken in by the huge smile on his face as he saw my reaction. He was always plotting some adventure or some mad plan to make money, and describing in great detail to me just what this would entail. Most were pretty far fetched I must say !!!
Friday night was his favourite night as all his friends would come round to meet at our house and listen to music, drink and chat before they went out. I used to be shouting ''turn that music down'' - how I wish I still was. He loved music, the progressive trance type, which all sounded the same to me and his Dad. He also was a big fan of The Stone Roses, as were his brother and sister.
He had so many friends, and it seems as though everyone in our town knew him and had only good things to say of him. Both male and female wanted to claim him as their best friend.
One of the nicest compliments I can think of.
He is missed so much by all of us. Not a day or an hour goes by that he is not in my thoughts. I miss his big grin, his talk, his presence, his life.
On the 3rd December about 8 o'clock Colin went out with his girlfriend L**** to visit a 'friend'. I heard them come in about midnight, as I was in my bed, and heard Colin making him self something to eat and drink in the kitchen below me. I was trying to get to sleep and could just faintly hear the T.V. and their voices from the bedroom next door until I drifted off to sleep.
The next morning, I got up, went to work for 7 AM, when I got a phone message to come home as Colin's girlfriend couldn't wake him. I rushed home, to be met by the paramedics who said to me ''I'm sorry m'dear there was nothing we could do''
I had no idea what they meant. I just couldn't comprehend what they were meaning. It was L**** who was making this awful wailing noise, that made me understand the meaning of their words.
It took almost 2 years for the reality to finally sink in.
I rushed up the stairs to see him, and he was in his bed and looked so peaceful as though he were sleeping. I actually shook his arm to try and wake him up as I thought that some ghastly mistake had been made.
I remember that he felt so cold to the touch and I wanted to warm him up.
The police discovered that Colin had taken heroin, injected in to him by this ''friend''. To the best of our knowledge the first time he had done so.
Why ? We have no idea, and the best explanation is because he could, and this person urged him to do so.
Colin didn't come back 'home' until the 20th December and the toxicology report said that it was '' a low dose not normally consistent with fatality''. Why it killed Colin has never been fully explained to us, only that is was, ''one of those things''. I don't think that there is an explanation for it.
Colin made a bad choice and paid for it with his life.
The funeral was the 23rd December and was attended by so many, it was standing room only. There must have been over 350 people there. A wonderful tribute to him.
His brother and sister, family and friends have all been affected by his death.
It has changed our lives as well, in so many ways, that only another bereaved parent could fully comprehend the impact on all aspects of our life.
Your never ever far from my thoughts Hardy,I often think how things would be if you were still here, what life would be like today, where would we all be, I know 1 thing for sure we'd be hayin a right good crack! Miss the banter and the laugher soo much, such cherished memories, take care up there till we meet again x
A Very Interesting Explanation of a Bereaved Parents Feelings
The gap between those who have lost children and those who have not is profoundly difficult to bridge. No one, whose children are well and intact can be expected to understand what parents who have lost children have absorbed and what they bear. Our children come to us through every blade of grass, every crack in the sidewalk, every bowl of breakfast cereal. We seek contact with their atoms, their hairbrush, their toothbrush, their clothing. We reach for what was integrally woven into the fabric of our lives, now torn and shredded. A black hole has been blown through our souls and, indeed, it often does not allow the light to escape. It is a difficult place. For us to enter there is to be cut deeply, and torn anew, each time we go there, by the jagged edges of our loss. Yet we return, again and again, for that is where our children now reside. This will be so for years to come and it will change us profoundly. At some point in the distant future, the edges of that hole will have tempered and softened but the empty space will remain - a life sentence. Our friends will change through this. There is no avoiding it. We grieve for our children, in part, through talking about them and our feelings for having lost them. Some go there with us, others cannot and through their denial and a further measure, however unwittingly, to an already heavy burden. Assuming that we may be feeling "better" six months later is simply "to not get it." The excruciating and isolating reality that bereaved parents feel is hermetically sealed from the nature of any other human experience. Thus it is a trap - those whose compassion and insight we most need are those for whom we abhor the experience that would allow them that sensitivity and capacity. And yet, somehow there are those, each in their own fashion, who have found a way to reach us and stay, to our comfort. They have understood, again each in their own way, that our children remain our children through our memory of them. Their memory is sustained through speaking about them and our feelings about their death. Deny this and you deny their life. Deny their life and you no longer have a place in ours. We recognize that we have moved to an emotional place where it is often very difficult to reach us. Our attempts to be normal are painful and the day to day carries a silent, screaming anguish that companies us, sometimes from moment to moment. Were we to give it its own voice we fear we would become truly unreachable, and so we remain "strong" for a host of reasons even as the strength saps our energy and drains our will. Were we to act out our true feelings we would be impossible to be with. We resent having to act normal, yet we dare not do otherwise. People who understand this dynamic are our gold standard. Working our way through this over the years will change us as does every experience - and extreme experience changes one extremely. We know we will have recovered when, as we have read, it is no longer so painful to be normal. We do not know who we will be at that point or who will still be with us. We have read that the gap is so difficult that, often, bereaved parents must attempt to reach out to friends and relatives or risk losing them. This is our attempt. For those untarnished by such events, who wish to know in some way what they, thankfully, do not know, read this. It may provide a window that is helpful for both sides of the gap.
Author UNKNOWN
Messages left on Facebook page yesterday
Alan Lawrence
Been a few years noo Young Hardy since you were sadly tookin awa from us !! But your never forgotten bud and I no your shining over all your family and friends like the STAR u r RIP young ane alway in ma thoughts X
Yesterday at 11:16 · · CommentYou, David James Lumsden, Louise Boaler and 17 others like this.
Paul Chambers - Couldn't agree more! R.I..P
Yesterday at 11:47
·David James Lumsden and Alan Lawrence like this
.Louise Boaler - xxxxxxx
Yesterday at 12:51 · David James Lumsden - best loon iver
Your Birthday
It doesn't need a special day to bring you to our mind
The days that we don't think of you are impossible to find.
Mum and Dad XXX
Well Hardy, It's been a few years now since you left us, yet your in my thoughts at least once everyday. Even though the pain has eased over time, god min...do I still miss ye!!! I miss your smile, it was like no other, you instantly made me feel better when you flashed me a smile. I miss the banter and the cheek of you (believe it or not) with that wicked sense of humour . Sometimes we could speak about a cd or a tune for ages, and still to this day they all have a special meaning to me. I remember you borrowing your bro's CD's (i think it was leftfield or smiths) and him shouting through from his room asking if you had it and you replied 'NUT' with a massive grin that gave your game away! I miss the carry ons in your room afore goin up the toon, putting the stereo volume up and doon for certain tunes, your mam and dad must have been demented with all of us! I miss the games on the playstation that I always got beaten on apart fae that time I flooked a game against Frank, dina think he wiz happy but gave us a fit of the giggles! I always liked meeting your new girlfriends aswell, as i got to know them as friends who I still speak to today. I'll never forget the memories ive got, creamfields, cemi pivy, dookit park, toon hall, random parties, quarry raves. I'l miss the friend you were to me, i'l never forget that. Ive written this as if im sending you an email, and what id give for a reply. I do like to think of you as close by. You are the most kindest, gentle, funny most charismatic person im proud to have known. Take Care up there, im always thinking of you. All my Love, your pal Lou xxxxxx
one in a million
I first met Hardy when i was 11 at the top of ladyhill and he was just intoxicating, with that huge smile of his, everyone was around him and and he made everyone smile, as if that huge smile of his was contagious. He just started speaking to us as if it was the most natural thing in the world to be immediatlely nice to people you didn't know (if only it was). Everytime i saw him after that be it weeks, months, or even years, later he always greeted me as if i was an old friend with that huge smile. I'd like to think it was because i was a good friend but at the time i wasn't, i was just someone he had once met he was just realy that nice. I had never met a guy his age with such a kind heart.
It wasn't untill he started going out with my best friend that i really got to know him and he was everything i ever thought he was and more. His generosity, compassion, and just plain decency was unlike anyone else of his age. In all the time i knew him i never knew him to be mean or cruel to anyone.Even though i was usually a third wheel he always made me feel comfortable and welcome. He was also very funny and totally cracked me up. Many a night was spent listening to his funny wee phrases while playing timespltters and drinking way too many cups of tea for people our age. Whenever it was my turn to make tea he would get on to me, as i had always put the milk in before the water, which he explained was all wrong, the milk goes in last apparently it tasted better.I could go on and on about his good qualities but anyone who knew him even just for a day knew how brilliant,sweet,kind and funny he was.
I'ts been a while since those times and it's funny how people can influence your life. I will never forget the kindness he showed me and i now always put the milk in last when making a cup of tea and he was right it does taste better. He was a credit to his mum and dad and he is soarly missed by all. Luv ya to bit's Hardy x
This was a reply from Gary to me.
This was a reply from Gary to me, as I wrote to thank him for his posting. I'm sure he won't mind me posting it in public.
Once again thank you Gary, it is much appreciated.
It was an honour to know him. I was a shy boy from
the northen isles and he give me a lot of confidence when I was 16yrs old and 150 miles from home. meeting colin has shaped my life so much and it's such a shame what happened it really did sadden me when I discovered what happened . The memories of the college days will never be forgotten. I wish yourself and your family the very best for the future
Kindest regards
Gary Berston
rip hardy
i went to college in inverness with colin training to be a painter. Colin was one of my closest friends at college as i was a fair distance from home and he made me feel welcome. i always remember he was desperate to buy a playstation 2 and went and got a bank loan out to buy one. he asked me to drive him out to the retail park in inverness so he could get it i remember telling him he was an idiot for spending so much on it but he would just turn and smile and laugh.
he introduced me to dance music and i remember he had 1 cd by seb fontaine that he let me listen to and i loved so much i had to go out and buy it
i was told about a year ago that he had died by another boy i went to college with but did not believe what i was told. i happened to be doing an internet search and sadly stumbled across this tribute page
colin to me was a laugh and up for it and would always make you smile
RIP colin i will never forget the good days
chunder aka gary berston
orkney
HARDY BOO
well i still cant believe what happened and i would like to say how much you are missed, everyone who knew you loved you and you were a real friend, missed so much,
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